Does it seem like true love has no boundaries? Think again! Boundaries are very important for a strong and healthy relationship between two individuals.
Boundaries vs. Barriers
If you’re feeling confused, you probably aren’t making the important distinction between boundaries and barriers. While the later is something that needs to be overcome, the first one helps people maintain beautiful and satisfactory dynamics.
Working on eliminating barriers and setting the right types of boundaries will demand involvement on behalf of both partners. Open communication and taking the other person’s feelings in consideration will both be essential for more meaningful interactions and romantic happiness.
Why Are There Barriers in Relationships
Barriers: Why do They Appear in a Relationship? Barriers are often born because of fear and insecurity. The relationship mistakes you made in the past and the pain you experienced will make you erect a wall that will stand in the way of honest communication and the feeling of complete belonging.
Here’s a simple example – you opened up too fast in the past and you got hurt when the relationship ended. The information was used against you. Chances are that in a new relationship, you’ll be much more emotionally reserved. You’ll put up a communication barrier and you’ll need a lot of time to start sharing personal information.
Factors That Contribute To Barriers In Couples
Several main factors contribute to barriers in an intimate relationship. Here are the most common ones:
Signs You Have Barriers In Your Relationship
Signs that Your Relationship is Burdened by Barriers Is your relationship burdened by barriers? The problem is that you’re too emotionally invested to tell whether something is really, really wrong.
Still, you can identify a few giveaway signs of damaging barriers. Are you experiencing any of the following:
Overcoming Barriers in Couples
Overcoming Barriers: What does It Take? Acknowledging the fact that certain barriers are standing in the way of romantic bliss is the first step towards getting things better.
For a start, understand that the two of you are independent entities. You can agree to disagree and still be happy in your relationship. There’s no need to change your partner and there’s no need to change yourself, as long as you’re willing to accept each other.
Learn to listen and to communicate effectively. Yelling at each other isn’t effective communication. Holding on stubbornly to what you want isn’t effective, either. Try to understand what your partner wants, discuss issues and look for a mutually beneficial compromise. You will not be capable of finding such a solution each time but the desire to make things better (together) will be an incredibly bonding experience.
Consider participating in activities with each other. Non-sexual bonding is one of the most important “adhesives” holding the relationship together. Practice a sport in the company of your significant other. Start a gardening project together. Hug, kiss and enjoy each other’s presence. You’ll soon feel how both of you start opening up and feeling much more comfortable in the company of the other person.
Boundaries Are Helpful for Couples
The Difference between Barriers and Boundaries Don’t confuse the two terms. While barriers are incredibly damaging, boundaries are essential for a healthy and satisfactory relationship.
A boundary can be seen as “personal space.” Many people commit the mistake of starting to think about “we” and forgetting the “I” in the relationship. Partners in a healthy relationship think about the other person each time they want to do something. They’re interested in the partner’s feeling and opinions. They don’t assume that the partner thinks or feels something. This is how healthy boundaries get established, giving both individuals comfort and a little bit of individuality that’s so essential.
Healthy boundaries are set up when people speak about their disappointment, the actions that have hurt their feelings and their desires. Self-knowledge and consideration for the other person are both important for setting such boundaries.
Relationship dynamics are truly complicated. Conscious effort on behalf of both people is needed to make things work. Barriers can occur in the very beginning but it’s important that these are dealt with in a quick and efficient manner. Open communication is one of the biggest essentials for making things better and enjoying relationship happiness.
Wilma Derksen, C.E.C., O.M.