Does it feel like you and your partner are quarreling all the time? Think that it’s normal? Though clashes of personalities are essential for improving the relationship dynamics, you should know how to “fight.” Conflicts have to lead to resolutions and if this isn’t happening, you’re experiencing a problem.
For many people, relationship conflict resolution is a mission impossible. Stubbornness, emotional baggage and unrealistic expectations are all to blame.
So, are you letting fights destroy your romantic life? What are you fighting about most often? The answers to these questions can tell you a lot about the state that your relationship is in.
What Do Couples Fight About Most Often?
Most couples fight about the same things and certain issues make it very difficult to reach a mutually beneficial compromise. Some of the most controversial and challenging topics to tackle include:
Signs That Conflict Is Destroying Your Relationship
As already mentioned, conflict can lead to major improvements in your relationship. You, however, should know how to argue. Think about your own behavior and the reactions of your partner. Is any of the following taking place:
Tips For Effective Conflict Resolution
The willingness to work on conflict resolution and your love for a partner can lead to serious improvements. It’s very important to control your emotions and resist impulsive urges. Blurting out the first thing that comes to your mind when you’re angry isn’t going to be productive. Instead, try to listen and take some time to calm down.
Conflict isn’t bad and it isn’t a sign of relationship failure. Use this as an opportunity to get things better. Many couples play the blame game and point fingers at each other. Understand the fact that neither of you is right or wrong. You’re in it together and you should look for ways to make things better. Conflict resolution can be a bonding experience, if you put some effort in it.
Speak up and try to share what has gone wrong and how it’s made you feel. Allow your partner to respond before moving on. Acknowledge the fact that you understand each other’s point of view. It’s not only about listening – pay attention to body language and to the things that your partner isn’t saying.
Finally, learn to practice loving acceptance. Decide whether it’s a serious problem or just a disagreement. Agree to disagree with each other and don’t hold grudges. You’re two individuals and it’s impossible to see eye to eye on everything. That’s ok – in fact it makes the relationship more colorful!
Some couples “fight” like pros, others simply play a yelling game that doesn’t lead to anything. Conflict is important and conflict can be good. It’s up to you to use the opportunity in the most productive way.
Wilma Derksen, C.E.C., O.M.